It is breathtaking, how much love can be created and shared, when we take time for ourselves. Without the expectation to be anything BUT ourselves, not anything more, not anything less. What love can manifest when we zone in on what we want, and give it all our energy and trust.
These last few weeks at work have been so good to me. And it’s actually NOT because I’m excited to leave,
Rather it’s because i have dedicated the time to slow down and listen to people. To feel, to smile, HONESTLY to let people IN… to be myself… to relax and know i am in the right place – whatever that is. It’s because I started to listen to what i wanted, which is my own unique choice and medicine, a concoction for myself. And at this time, looks like working fucking hard and running consistently, sweating heaps on my yoga mat, and challenging my body physically in new ways. It also looks like deep breaths + personal morning sun dances.
I am guiding myself suddenly without the conscious hard effort I have struggled with in the past in order to listen inward. Because i think for years i was looking at “its time to focus on myself” in a very minuscule way – and suddenly i realized its actually the BIG picture that needs to shift. Somehow i missed something until now.
I need to be on my mat to free and better myself. Not in hopes to create a certain class that fit in the well-anticipated/expectation filled box of ‘Hannah the Yoga Instructor’ – not in a way that would benefit my beautiful students learning or physical workout. But to be on my mat and LISTENING, as a student, not a teacher. It’s just time I do this. Because I’m learning that my body and intuition have the answers for me. Just as well, that the last time i was truly a student was so long ago… And so much has changed since then, within my goals for this life of mine. I have grown immensely. I have learned in this past year, so much of what i do and do not want for my life. So it’s long overdue that i check back in. I am ready.
I started putting all my energy into serving after i left my beloved yoga studios, and suddenly i feel really fucking good about serving, about who i am. I think this has everything to do with the fact I have struggled these past 3 years as a waitress and yoga instructor, to put myself completely in the mindset of one or the other. I couldn’t put 200% of my energy into one task or thing. Maybe no one else noticed this, but it was more of a feeling I began to see happening. So recently, I have started organically observing how much i am giving, exchanging, and learning how and when to replenish my own energy. Because i stepped out of the seat of the teacher. Physically, but more abundantly, MENTALLY.
And it brings me to tears to realize it.
Teaching yoga has given me the greatest purpose for so long. Truly, it’s the only reason I have ever felt purpose on this planet. Yoga, Pilates and meditation are also what dragged me out of depression when I was in and emerging out of high school. When i teach/move/instruct, i am 100% guided by a greater source. Most times without thinking or worrying. I feel GOOD and FREE in that space within myself 💜
And although i wish it could continue to be my baby, and my everything,
This chapter as i currently have been living it, has served its purpose.
So i must have had to unlock this part of myself and my heart, before i could reach out any further in this life and continue on. Just as well, I realize I have outgrown myself.
And holy shit that is an amazing… just wonderful and.. hard realization. To come to this closing, in order for a new beginning to unfold itself 🙏🏼
I catch myself thinking back to the Lotus flower on my back, once again 💜
And don’t be silly, of course i will continue to explore myself in the spot of a yoga teacher 😉
…it’s never going to look quite the same again.
I’m breaking out of my own self-created shells!
I hope if anything, this gives you insight to (or time to explore!) where you have outgrown yourself, or your own life. Even if just in the way you do one small thing.
I love you,
Yes you 💜
Thank you for being here.
More coming soon my friends.