raw thoughts pt 1

there is a shelter,
in some humans for us,
each of us.
but just maybe
the point of life is to be ripped away from their safety,
the illusion.

so that we can experience emotion
even if they made you feel all that you have ever been.
even though you wanted to wait on your dreams because you thought you had them in your arms.
we do not catch our dreams.
we dream them until we run alongside them, like wolves in the forest.
like chasing the moon along the horizon and never reaching it.
you cannot reach her either.
maybe this is it.
how do we overcome the human condition of wanting and needing love from another
it’s not even that, it’s the connection i ache for
the melding of
thoughts
bodies
beliefs
views
laughter
crooked smiles
dimples
and stars

– – – –

i miss talking to people about the place i love
the mountains they have been climbing
seeing the dirt under their nails, in that truthful, i’ve-been-outside-all-day-everyday way
now i wander around this city i feel lost in
how do i get back
how do i stay who i was there
now that i am here

– – – –

i smiled, the whole way there
sweating, windows down.

i cried, the whole way home
shivering, speeding through the rain and the wind.

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